Saturday, December 29, 2007

A day in the life

A friend of mine asked about my day-to-day activities, and I thought I would share it here.

On weekdays I get up between 7:50-8:20am. I put together some kind of food for lunch, either packing leftovers from dinner or cooking something new. At work we each bring a container of rice for ourselves, and then a dish to share (and sometimes also a bit of curd (plain yogurt) to share). I generally bring an Indian-style omelet (eggs, onions, green chili's, salt, chili powder, tumeric); potatoes with veggies and spice; veggie stir fry (sometimes with soy protein chunks which are available at our grocery store); egg fried rice with veggies; dal (lentils); chinese stir fry (tofu, veggies, soy sauce or ginger-garlic sauce). I also sometimes cook the night before so I don't have to cook in the morning.

If Lily is showering, she heats water for me on the stove after she is done with hers; if she isn't I get up and put on a pot of water for myself, which I then add to a 3/4-full bucket of cold water from the porch tap, or if that tap isn't working (as is sometimes the case), the tap in the other bathroom. I use a pail to use the now warmish water from the bucket to shower and wash my hair. (Even though I shower every day, sometimes when I rub my skin at night bits of black dead skin rub off. This is because of the pollution I am exposed to commuting to and from work, and just living in a polluted city. Even more disturbing is that sometimes my snot will turn black, filled with soot from the air. Yum.) I use Herbal Essences products, my brand from home, which I buy here in my supermarket for about the same price as Indian shampoo and conditioner I've seen here.

I get dressed in one of my 6 Kurta's (Indian tops) which I pair with Salwar pants and a dupatta (scarf) or my capri's or jeans, eat eggs or mango cornflakes with soymilk for breakfast, and head out the door with Lily, in search of an auto that will take us to work and charge us on the meter (usually not a problem to find). Lily takes me the 10-20 minutes to work, then takes the auto on to her work. Alone it costs me about Rs 30 ($.75); she pays about Rs 50 for the ride. I then walk about 10 leisurely minutes to work, stopping to watch/photograph the water buffalo that more often than not are walking the same route as me, sometimes guided by little kids or a man whipping them with a small stick, sometimes seemingly guided by themselves. Some of them have painted red horns.



My office starts at 10:00am and because I carpool with Lily, I arrive early and am the first to arrive besides our tea lady, cleaning lady, and chore boy. After taking the lift (elevator) to the fourth floor, I remove my shoes and place them in the shoe rack before walking into the office. At work I do various cool things, which most recently has involved creating a 30-day gender and human rights course that we intend to put on for college kids. 1:00pm is lunch, which involves us all putting our rice on our stainless steel plates and passing our other dishes around so everyone gets a bit ("Teskondi" they tell me, which means "take" in Telugu). Padma, our tea lady, puts two bottles of water and a couple cups, along with a bunch of stainless steel plates and spoons, on the plastic table cloth which she puts on the table/s. We use our right hands to eat, and our left hands to pass things, rip roti pieces (thin bread), serve ourselves from the stainless steel tiffins ("Boxes" they call them; we would call them metal tupperware) with spoons, and drink water. Water is consumed, whether from a communal or personal bottle/cup, by holding the container about 2 inches above one's mouth, tilting one's head back, and pouring into one's mouth. I can barely pour more than a mouthful without having to stop and swallow; they can poor entire full cups of water seemingly down their throats. Even little kids drink water this way; I have found it difficult to learn, but fun to try.

My office closes at 5:30, at which point I walk to the bus, usually with my coworker, Anu, who lives near me. It takes between 30-90 minutes to get home, depending on how long we need to wait for a bus, how long it takes for a bus to stop (sometimes they won't stop), and how bad the traffic is. The bus from work to home costs Rs5 which is about $.13 (thirteen cents). I exit the bus, occasionally jumping off as it slows in traffic nearer to my house than the bus stop is. I walk home, often stopping to buy vegetables on the way.

For veggies, we go to a more-or-less permanent vegetable stand, where we pay a fixed price per kilogram for our purchases. We are given a wicker or plastic bucket to collect our veggies in. I spend about 80-100 rupees ($2-2.50) on a huge bag of veggies: a dozen onions, a dozen tomatoes, garlic, eggplant, potatoes, cabbage, and carrots. When we want fruits we go to a mobile stand (usually a wooden cart with wheels that the vendors take wherever they feel business is best) and get whatever is in season. Mangoes haven't been available since we got here; custard apples were in for Oct-Nov (and I am going through withdrawal now that they are gone); oranges just came in season. It's strange eating produce based on what is seasonally available, though I suppose it's stranger living in a place where you can get any produce all-year round. We get the rest of our food from local grocery stores, such as rice, lentils, olive oil, honey, soy milk, tofu, Gouda, juice, cereal, pasta, jam, bread, papadum. We actually eat a mostly vegan and wheat-free diet in the house, with the exception of eggs and toast for breakfast, and cheese as a treat.

We spend between 1-2.5 hours cooking dinner every night. We have a rice maker, several pots, a microwave, two burners and no oven. We have a medium-sized fridge that our landlord gave us.

Other activities include going out with our friends, watching movies, having friends over for dinner, going to good restaurants, reading, writing snail mail (email me if you want a postcard!), doing laundry in a bucket, going to tourist areas such as the lake or a park, cooking, chasing mosquito's with a tennis racket-shaped bug electrocution toy, and for me most recently, sleeping in a mosquito net because we suddenly have tons of mosquitos. I brush my teeth with filtered water because the tap water is bad (unsuitable for drinking).

Saturday, December 1, 2007

"Can I ask you about your dot?"

After work, I was walking to the bus with Anu, who lives near my neighborhood. She was saying that I would be the center of attention when I went to the communalism workshop in the village of Mahbubnagar. I told her I don't mind when women and children stare at me, because the women generally smile back when I smile at them, and the kids like to say "hi! hi! hi!" and are super cute. It's the men staring that bothers me, because it is creepy and if I were to smile at them, as I do with the women, it would be interpreted disturbingly incorrectly. I know I'm a foreigner, I told her, but I still don't like the assumption that I am rich/easy/exciting just because I am a white woman. Why do all these men have to stare at me?

Anu was silent for a moment, and then asked me what would happen if an Indian woman came to America - would they get similar treatment?

"Oh no," I said. "They might stare, but it would be less sexual and more just because she was different... and we might talk louder to her, even if she spoke perfect English because people who speak English with an Indian accent are assumed to be intermediate in their English-speaking abilities, and ask her if 'Indian' was her first language... and we might institutionally discr iminate against her, but just a little, and somewhat subtly... and we might not stare so overtly in public, but instead fetishize her... And if it were an Indian Muslim women who wore a Burqa we would definitely stare, and comment in an airport that she would be thoroughly searched, because she is likely a suicide bomber, or part of an islamofacist terrorist mutiny, and talk openly about how oppressed she was by her men because she has to wear that awful thing, because clearly no woman would ever willingly choose such a burden, and...

"Oh."

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Oh Lily, you came and you brought me a turkey

Thanksgiving in India! My roommates and I made a Thanksgiving dinner tonight. The three of us were joined by Sylvia, the 72 year old American volunteer at Shlayma's work from NYC, and Blanca, a woman from Madrid who recently moved into our neighborhood and is attending the Nutrition Institute in Secunderabad. We had no oven, no turkey, and three vegetarians (me, Shlayma and Blanca), so we were quite unsure what to make at first...


Our first course was a spread of appetizers. The gherkins and olives were a rare treat, despite not being very good.

For our main course, Lily made an unbelievable "turkey" made of mashed potatoes, carrots and eggplant.



I think Lily should focus her future on being a food artist...


We also had green beans and apple cider, and a rice stuffing that I made. For the stuffing, I mixed red and white rice, and put in onions, green onions (scallions), mushrooms, green pepper, walnuts, cashews, apple, raisins, tumeric, coriander, chili powder, and salt.


Blanca and Sylvia brought the desserts, though by that time we were pretty much too full to eat anything.

As I neglected to make a Halloween dinner post last month, I have to end with further proof of Lily's artistic ability with food.


Mashed potato head with a knife and blood, lentils/dal as "bloody guts", steaming apple cyder, green beans aka "snakes in the grass", and carrots as ladies fingers.


What an artist.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Diwali

Diwali is the Hindu festival of lights. Technically Diwali (also known as Deepavali) is a 5-day festival, but last Friday, what I believe is the third day, was the most important (I think). In preparation for Diwali, many people clean their houses and buy new clothes to wear on Diwali. They also may decorate their houses with drawings and candles. In Hyderabad, everyone burns crackers (firecrackers), and there are lots of firework shows on display, most of them amateur. Many people told me that eating sweets is also part of Diwali. It's a big holiday in India and though we had heard a lot of hype about it, we still had no plans or idea what to do on Wednesday. And then, Thursday morning, the invitations started rolling in.

Thursday night we had dinner at Shlayma's boss's house. She dressed Lily and Shlayma up in Saree's (I was already wearing a brand new Salwar Kameez that I got stitched from material I bought the week before).

Shlayma, me and Lily

Friday morning we went to brunch at a restaurant with Lily's boss, her husband, and another of Lily's coworkers. We did not eat breakfast since we were on our way to brunch. On our way out the door, we grabbed a box of sweets to offer to our neighbors from our floor, who we have only said hello to so far. We knocked on each of their doors, bearing a box of sweets from which they could pick and choose their favorites. The first took, retreated into her flat as her little daughter took our sweets, and returned moments later with a plate with three fried chapati's (flat circular bread). The second held out her own box of sweets as we held out ours, and we exchanged sweets. The third woman invited us in, and gave us square pieces of bread-like substances fried in ghee (special butter) and sugar. So all in all, despite trying not to eat before brunch, we had about 2000 calories each before leaving our apartments.


Our neighbors handpainted their door frames in preparation for Diwali.

When we finally made it to brunch, we all ordered Dosa's, one of my favorite South Indian foods. Shlayma ordered a paper dosa, which is thin but huge
Paper dosa

Lily and I went to my coworker's house for her Pooja and then for dinner and burning crackers. The Pooja was really interesting, they had an elaborate alter with many offerings and a small statue of the goddess Lakshmi (who they worship during Diwali, or maybe just during this day of Diwali...). The offerings included candles, a banana, a coconut, a custard apple (my favorite fruit), cashews, several sweets, and flowers. My coworker's sister-in-law sang all 1008 (yes, one thousand and eight, not a typo) of Lakshmi's names.


Lakshmi's alter for the Pooja

Aparna and me

While burning crackers in the yard, we heard and saw crackers being burned in every direction, from probably every house. It was very loud and bright and intense. We took an auto to Banjara Hills, where a friend of an old volunteer names Apoorva (now our friend) lives. We got charged extra since it was the night of a holiday, which was OK because we were lucky we got an auto at all. The drive was filled with crazy blasting sounds and fire and light coming from various places. Sometimes we would have to stop short because people were burning crackers in the street.


Me burning a sparkler

At Apoorva's we met up with Shlayma and a friend of someone on our program in Mumbai who was in Hyderabad for a job interview. The 5 of us did a small Pooja, then used the candles to do Shabbat. It was a nice sharing of religious ceremonies, and it was nice for Apoorva because it was his first Diwali away from his home in Delhi (he moved to Hyderabad for work). Apoorva's mom sent a box of fancy chocolates from a famous sweet shop in Delhi; Lily, a chocoholic, was in heaven all weekend.


Fancy chocolates

We watched fireworks from Apoorva's roof, which overlooks the city. There were fireworks from about 6 directions, all night; all night, and all weekend, there were crazy loud booms and bangs going off all over the city.


This is looking out off Apporva's roof during the day

Saturday we went to Chutney's, a nice restaurant, and then walked in this pretty park. We went out with Apoorva's friends to a club at the Taj Krishna, a posh 5-star hotel in Banjara Hills. It's strange going to a club, or even to most places in Banjara Hills, and seeing so many people donning Western clothes; in the club I think I was the only one wearing Indian garments. At work I am the only one who regularly wears any Western articles; my boss once wore a polo shirt and jeans, and a coworker wore a t-shirt with a skirt last week.

All in all, it was a lovely 4-day festival Diwali weekend in Hyderabad.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Lost and found

The autorikshaw's in Hyderabad/Secunderabad have been on strike for about 36 hours. Yesterday morning I took the bus entirely incident-free (I take the bus home, but hadn't yet taken it in the morning since I carpool in an autorikshaw with my roommate). So this morning I waited at the theoretical bus stop (which actually involves less of waiting at a bus stop, and more or waiting in a general area and trying to spot the right bus number then chasing it down as it comes to a moving stop, depending of the traffic) and hopped on several 250's, and each of them told me no, we are not going to Rail Niliyam. I didn't understand why, but finally got on one that said although they were not going there, they would go to Secunderabad. 'Oh good,' I thought, 'I know how to walk to work from Secunderabad bus station.'

So I get out at Secunderabad, and find I don't recognize anything... I walked around and headed in the direction I was pointed by several bus employees. I saw a bunch of vacant auto's lined up along a busy road, and then about 50 men on foot holding red signs, formed a huge circle at the large intersection, and began chanting. Moving away from the striking auto drivers' movement and traffic-blocking tactics, I walked some more and found myself at - Secunderabad railway station. I was nearly late for work, and so I asked an elderly gentleman where was Rail Niliyam? He said, "wait a few minutes and I'll drop you there." So we waited for his daughter and son-in-law to arrive on a train, then they drove me to my work neighborhood, and I arrived only 10 minutes late to work.


I also lost my wallet last weekend, or the change purse I was using as a wallet so as not to lose all my important cards, so I only lost a bunch of cash and my Debit card (I'd visited the ATM to get money the day before I lost it).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A couple photos


One day near the end of the workday, a bunch of my coworkers asked to see photos of my family and school. This is about one third of the women who work in my office.




This is me on my first day in India, wearing my two backpacks, which is all that I brought to India

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Maybe TV is right, TV is always right...

We have a TV in our office, though it's covered with some cloth and I didn't notice it until last week when several women turned it on periodically to check the score in the cricket Australia vs. India games.

Just now, they turned it on again, and everyone who is in the office (several women are out today on various trainings) came and crowded around. I inquired about the commotion and someone explained that it was a wedding of a famous Telugu movies star's second daughter. I was confused as to why this was exciting to them, let alone newsworthy. The wedding wasn't particularly glamorous, and I thought perhaps the lines of squiggly Telugu going by on the news screen might have offered some sort of explanation (but alas, my Telugu training does not start until next week).

After several minutes of watching, they turned of the TV. One of them noticed my bewildered look and said, "that is the daughter of a famous movie star. She is getting married... against her parent's wishes." I asked how they knew that, and they said why else would it be so sensationalized by the press?

My knowledge of arranged marriages is still quite limited. I know that it is quite common in India, and seems to involve parents choosing a match for their child based on various factors. The divorce rate is much lower; however, divorce seems to be heavily stigmatized here, and the blame is placed largely on the woman (regardless if she left an abusive relationship, she is criticized for not having been able to take care of her husband). Of the various married women in my office, many of them had arranged marriages. My supervisor had a 'love marriage' also known as a 'choice marriage'; my counterpart (who is my age) said she would never have an arranged marriage. Someone from Shlayma's work asked me if I would have an arranged marriage or a love marriage, and I tried to explain that arranged marriages aren't really something we consider in my culture. One of my roommates said a woman in her office told her about her arranged marriage. She said that she was too shy to speak to her future husband, so he would come over and talk and she would listen. She never spoke to him until their wedding day.

I'm trying to be aware of the fact that I am in a different culture where they have different customs and beliefs that are informed by different values, call it being culturally sensitive or having an open mind. I like the fact that I am working with an Indian NGO that is working on issues they see as important for women in India; I don't know if I would be comfortable working for a Western NGO that was intent on making change in some foreign country, imposing our views on them. Us vs. Them. The civilized vs. the Other. This way, I know I am working alongside 20 individuals who believe that we need to change the position of woman in India - and each of these individuals are female and Indian, and are educated in fields related to our work.
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About Me

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I wrote this blog while working at a women's resource center in Hyderabad, India through a social justice fellowship through American Jewish World Service.

When I think of India, I think of...

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